I love Nexus. I LOVE Nexus. I LOVE NEXUS!!!!!

Flew Seattle – Vancouver today on a Horizon Air Bombardier Q400 turbo-prop. Seating capacity : 76. At least 1/3 empty.

Unfortunately, we arrived YVR just after a China Air 747 and another big honkin’ tin can from somewhere else. Customs wasn’t exactly jammed to capacity, but the line stretched three lengths of the corral.

I started a stopwatch when I got within sight of Customs. I didn’t check any bags, so I was going for a New World Record.

1. Bypass the line, go straight to the Nexus kiosks.

2. Stick my face in the Nexus kiosk super-shooter.

3. Poke at the touchscreen a couple of times.

4. Walk about 250 meters, past baggage claim, directly to the exit.

5. Hand my declaration and NEXUS receipt to Dudley DooRight.

6. Out the doors, into Canada. Bienvenue a Canada!

Elapsed time: 2 minutes, 41 seconds.

And that’s why I love Nexus. I LOVE NEXUS!

I LOVE NEXUS!

I LOVE NEXUS!

I LOVE NEXUS!

I LOVE NEXUS!

I LOVE NEXUS!

I only wish a Nexus-like program was available from TSA. In this age of science & technology, where things like iPhones and Skype and Paypal change our lives overnight, I am infuriated that we still have to take our shoes off, take our laptops out of our roll-aboards, and do the TSA Barefoot Kabuki Dance in front of hourly workers who I wouldn’t hire to empty my trash can.

And a huge, major-league FUCK YOU to the ACLU and the other lefties who are suing to halt the use of the new TSA full-body scanners. I would get on the damn plane stark naked if it would just speed things up and make the process scientific, effective, and objective.

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About The Mighty Skunk

I'm a Boffin
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